For the past year and a half, since I finished high school, I have been taking care of my grandmother. I have been responsible for her food mailing her bills, and all other need. In a sense I have been responsible for her life. This has made me think of many things, life, age, the changing world and its affect on us. Most of all it has made me aware of the value of the simple things and the great responsibility of being responsible for another life.
My grandmother is 88 years old and has hardly left the house in the past ten years. A few years ago my grandfather passed away. They had been married for nearly seventy years. For a number of years before that my mother had been living there to take care of them sense grandpa mind was going. Until just a few year or so before my graduation my mother had still been living their and until I moved in had still been stopping by a few days a week to take care of things.
At the point I moved in grandma was even more withdrawn then before. She doesn’t really go out for anything except a few trips to the doctors. She never was an outgoing person I am told and with grandpa death and the ever changing world, she would rather stay at home. I don’t think she’s really depressed but rather she is old, doesn’t want really be all that involved anymore and wants to spend the rest of her life where she comfortable.
I moved in the weekend after my graduation. I set up in what use to be my grandfathers room and which my cousin had lived in for a time. We work out an agreement in which I am paid fifty dollars a week, I get to live there free of charge and she pays for my groceries along with her own. After that I spent the rest of the summer settling in and falling into a routine.
I have a set of chores that I do regularly. They are fairly normal; take out the garbage, clean the house and such. I also have to make sure she pays her bill, eat regularly and in general be responsible for her well being. I think it’s a fairly simple job but I know a professional live in care taker would cost more then her whole income so I think this works out well for both of us.
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hey johhny...
ReplyDelete1.Thesis staement:"for the past year and a half, since I fifnished high school, I have been taking
care of my grandmother".
2.What eveidence is stated to prove thesis: I have a set of chores that is done regularly: take out the garbage, clean the house. Also has to make sure she pays her bills, eats regularly amd be responsible for her well being.
3. Writers reasoning/critical thinking provided to explain how the evidence supprts thesis: You use great reasoning when stating your story but use more critcal thinking..how has this made you feel? What has this done for you as a person? Use more of your own aspects...
4. Does the writer use counter claims? Does writer efectivley refute conter claims with eveidence and reasoning: Uses a few counter claims with eveidence and reasoning.
5. What else could the writer cite as eveidence?:
Give more examples of how you spend time with your grandma maybe about her well-being...do you watch tv together or laugh...? give some examples...How does she feel about having you taking care of her....? Does that help her well being?
7. This so far is a great start...you have a clear thesis statement wich leaves it open to talk about many different things that you do for your grandmother..which is great. You are definetley telling the story but use more of your critical thinking on the situations like how it makes you feel or what you gain from it personally...cause it sound like your close to grandma..so express that! I would also give more examples on your time spent with her...is it just taking care of her or is there other time spent doing something with her...? You are a good writer and I really feel your story I am somewhat familar with taking care of your loved ones...I spent a good portion of my life taking care of my mom so I know how it is...what you are doing is great and hold on to it cause she won't be around forever...thanks for sharing and I hope this helps!